meh.

bingobango

2006-10-22T19:42:00.000+01:00

my parents went away this weekend to coventry so i had a free gaff.
had a gathering at mine on friday which went alright. dug out my old oxide and neutrino albums which was a laugh. for some reason the tv in my living room only shows black and white pictures... i've tried everything to make it work! i don't know how i'm going to explain that one.
then last night i went to eddie's which was nice. he tried teaching me how to play chess but it was not working at all haha
it was a nice evening but i got hardly any sleep, always happens in his room even when he shut the window.
i've decided that i'm gonna leave things on my terms with him, like it was my initiation last night so it's as if it was my choice and therefore play it cool from now on.
just debating whether to go to noel's house for his birthday party. i had a power nap earlier but still pretty tired. i probably won't stay long if i go.
man, gots ta clean up teh house tmrw before my folks get back.
bizzzles

life is a flower

2006-10-16T21:15:00.000+01:00

holllaa.
i've just read back over my past posts and they are pretty lame to say the least.
i haven't written for so long too.
lots of things have happened.
i went to japan for my summer holidays which was pretty good when i look back on it, although my sister was being a bit of a prick at the time.
i went to leeds festival which was a buzzfords.
now i'm starting my third year of college.
there's a couple of people from my year still there which is alright and there's a few people doing art foundation but to be honest i really hate college. the new lowers and the old lowers really annoy me. when i go for a cig in the quad there's just this overly loud, noisy, fuzz milling about. i just wanna have a fag in peace man!
i hope this will make me study hard so that i can actually get out of that place for good.
it will happen.
some people have moved away to uni and it is well gutting.
i really miss chris nieri. he's got himself a girlfriend bless him. he's well such a good person and although he's all the way darn sarf he's been making me feel better about things.
i can't afford to go and see him though : (
kay's gone too, to liverpool, although she seems to be back in manchester at the weekends.
i well miss her too! haha
i guess it's hard when you see them about and then not having that chance anymore.
i've booked a holiday with my friends to go to lanzerote in 8 weeks for christmas! i was thinking oh dear... lanzerote... but it's right coz it'll be warm and i'll be with my friends.
currently partnerless but it's alright. i don't feel the need to go out and pull all the time to have a good night.
i saw ste the other night while i was out. in fact, he came up to me but what a loser. i don't know why i wrote so much about him haha.
another ex to be forgotten about i recks.
i thought i found a good apple, eddie, but i'm doubtful. fit as fuck but one of those who you have to be at the same level of fitness for a chance at a relationship i reckon. that really annoys me. but ah well. we decided to be friends but i don't know if that's gonna happen to be honest especially when we're both drunk. i don't know what to do. i'm probably gonna get hurt.
safe well anyway, i've got fag rolling to do and bastard essays to write.
peaces.

ace of base are cool.

Good God.

2006-07-16T13:39:00.000+01:00

Why do I do things to myself!
Worst day ever at work, long-arsed shift
Then I decided I would go to a guy from work's housewarming party with a drunk Leoni who had been getting pissed all day at a beer festival in Chorlton. Fair enough right? I got a bit drunk, started my many ramblings, couple of arguments with gays from Warrington and overly friendly guys. Not much of a party particularly because the noise level was low, no or little music because they are new neighbours.
We went to Cliff and Damien's house which was a bit down the road in Burnage. I needed a wee and Cliff kept pressing my belly which I did not find helpful.
Anyhoo, basically, Ady or as I called him for the majority of the night - Aiden, gave me a pill and I was fucked. Not literally.
Leoni fell asleep on the sofa and I just breathed utter tripe out of my mouth.
I was on a right para and thought this guy only gave me the pill to shut up.
But I don't get it because, why would you do that? I offended him because he started playing his guitar and to sing and I told him to shut up and no one wanted to know. It didn't mean to come out as harsh by the way. And I apologised immensly. If that was annoying, why would you give me a pill to shut me up? Made me worse mate.
I had a big chat with Charlotte and Damien who butted in.
Leoni was right pissed off when I told Damien to wake her up. She said he was creepy - lol
Anyway, it was about 5:30 and I needed to go home, however I was up and away and couldn't sleep and eventually had about an hours sleep.
I text Charlotte about two times.
I hope no one slags me off.
I told my mum about how I thought/knew I'd made a tit of myself and she said not to care.
Well done mum, trying.
Anyway, feel a bit sparky and fuzzy now.
Wondering whether to quit big ol' P-Hut.

Monday 10th July

2006-07-10T12:47:00.000+01:00

I spent about 6 hours yesterday producing transcripts for my English Language coursework. I have an hour of speech to write and it takes me ages to do just a small bit. It is so tedious.

As I hadn't finished it I decided to skip going to my English class this morning and had a lie in.

My dad's going into hospital tomorrow. I don't know what to think about it. I was getting some breakfast and he came into the kitchen and told me that if something bad happened [being sod's law - he's always making jokes about stuff] then he wants me to get on with my life and be happy. I wasn't even prepared for what he said, I wasn't expecting it.

What the fuck am I supposed to say to that. I just cried and told him I didn't want to think about it.
What the fuck will I do without him?
Even if tomorrow goes okay, something's gonna happen sooner rather than later anyway, there's more of a chance for it to happen.

It's fuckin' devistating.

2006-06-05T12:30:00.000+01:00

i turned on the tv this morning just as i woke up an started watching one of those channel 4 documentaries thta are shown in the morning. Anyway, it was about Ellen Noone. I knew she had cancer because I'd heard about it from other people. I got my phone out and rang Rachael to tell her to watch the tv but she'd already tried to ring me for the same reason. It was so sad. Just remembering how we were friends, used to go swimming and play & how she made me laugh. And now, she has hardly any hair because of the chemo and that she's about 20 and is going to die. The worst thing is is that we don't know her anymore, we don't know where she lives so even if we would like to make contact with her it would be awkward.
I think this has really hit home about things, how you can't really waste your life.
It's like, when Deborah had a go at me for messing things up in my first year just after Helen Garrod had died. Which reminds me how awful it was at the leavers' ball when Sally Pham drunkly came up to me and said that I reminded her of Helen.
I know I'm trying to not piss about these days but y'know, it's hard work.
I cut down drinking when I went out; in fact at David Seed's I had no alcoholic drink and it was quite good. My levels of subtlety were quite high, which is good. But then last night there was a Topshop party in Hardrock Café avec free bar... and I got drunk :(
but, i felt like an idiot because most people were in fancy dress and i looked like a fat goose, who blatantly didn't work in Topshop. And I guess it was good because I had the confidence to talk to people, one of whome I got a job recruitment number which is ace.
Bah. But that leaves me with the whole queries about drinking, because it's stupid to drink just to have some false confidence and I always over drink and make a tit of myself.
I think last night should be a one off because it was free drinks...
I also tried to give up smoking and went through a shift at work without going for a cig break but then i was desperate for one after, and gave in and bought some fags. i reckon i need to ween myself off those.
Why do I want to, willingly, increase the chance of cancer when people get it without having done anything. How is that fair? Why should that happen.

i miss the days

2006-05-16T21:43:00.000+01:00

i miss those days when i was about 15 or 16
when all i really had to worry about was getting through my GCSEs, but barely doing any work and still doing fine.
i miss that it was actually ok not to give a shit.
i had few responsibilities.
i miss the star and garter and retro bar days
getting stupidly drunk
but being able to down vodka, straight
i miss the strictness of school
i miss the begginings and firsts of things
i miss feeling excited about getting into rockworld & later rock kitchen
people thinking i was much older than i actually was
i miss that it was just us girls, no one really to fuck us up
i was proper into placebo and jimmy eat world
my sister was at uni, but after was at home
i knew 'everyone', 'everyone' knew me.
now, everyone's moving on, growing up. half of me is still left behind, not growing up through memories i can't leave and staying in college.

bingo/house/line

2006-05-02T22:20:00.000+01:00

i went to bingo tonight with my sister and two people from work
it was my sad attempt at becoming friendlier with people from work, however, only two others came.
i didn't win anything, however, my sister won £30. unforunatly. and is not going to share it with me.
what a gay.
candice was saying that dave was moving throuhg the Hut girls which is really gay.
i think he's a bit sleazy anyhow.
today i thought about ste a little bit. mostly because i miss him, and thinking of our past times. but then thought of the really shit stuff too which made me realise why what's happened has happened.
i sold rachael and leoni out from swimming to go to bingo
i really wanted to aswell :(
i need to go to sleep now, so i can get up tomorrow morning.
i really wish ste would make contact with me. just so i can get the one up?
i like getting the one up over people.
like, how i used to like this guy for years and he was an actual dickhead, and then the other week, i pulled him... not because he was fit or nice anymore but because i could and it felt nice to get my own back.
lol.
but still.
i don't see why we can't ever talk
for some reason i'm going past his friends' house and where he skates a lot and it does my head in.
or really, i should just leave this...
thafe gee.

2006-04-29T03:48:00.000+01:00

i can;t see very wel
in' a btiit drunk
i went out after wor, with bad hair do. stupid pizza hut hats give me bad hat hair
god.
dave was getting onto laura, thus equal me with shitness but i don't csre right now cox i am a bitdrunk
she is a bitch and slef centered so it's REET mother fucker. REET as FUCK
so.

2006-04-26T20:36:00.000+01:00

i've been swimming the past two days
it's been great.
really knackered though.
leoni's been upset about mark again, and it made me think about me and ste
which isn't good
i took the, ignore stuff route, but clearly it all comes back ten fold.
me and le went out last night to see the happy souls
we wanted to pull but clearly wasn't going to happen
what's wrong with us?
well. me. not her.
so, feeling a bit shit. but trying not to.
good news though, my geography coursework seems to be on the right track now. but i'm following a gcse template haha. my teacher told me it was my own fault for not turning up to more than 4 lessons since the year started.
ha.
peaces

2006-04-20T15:48:00.000+01:00

i went swimming this morning, it was really nice. me, rach and leoni. we stayed there for a few hours haha, checked out the steam room, sauna and jacuzzi. obviously did some swimming aswell, i'm gonna go more often. it was really hard at the beginning because i hadn't been for ages. it's really depressing because i used to be so good at it. also, i wish i didn't smoke, i don't want to but i could kill for one now haha.
aislinn's having a girls' night in tonight, which might be fun... or not.
hmm. mark split up with leoni the other day. it's so sad, like, after a year and he decides it's over.
made me think about ste again.
i keep checking his myspace page like a knobend, he'd always tell me how many his profile views had gone up... now they've gone up loads coz of me. haha
i've noticed girls posting comments to him aswell. he hasn't always replied though which is good.
yes i am sad.
man. i couldn't take him getting with someone else. he always goes for really pretty people too, it was one of the paras i got with being with him coz i was always not as good as the people he's been with before.
i miss him.
half of me wants to be with him again, and the other half still sees him as a dickhead.
it's not like i should even consider the other half because he blatantly doesn't want me.
fuck.

2006-04-18T16:48:00.000+01:00

i felt really upset the other day, just thinking about stuff.
i was looking forward to the next day, last night because it was david seed's party and i'd be with my friends.
i got to leoni's and it was all really nice, i had a can of stella which was really minging.
leoni's plan was to get leathered but i said that i wasn't really feeling up to it.
we got to seed's house, it's so nice.
then i started drinking loads.
and then the offer of absinth came up, so me and leoni were straight there
she had half a shot glass but stupidly felt like i'd have a whole shot...
and the worst thing, was that rachael and sally-anne were filming for their binge drinking documentary and straight away there'd be lots of footage of me, again, being a drunken tit.
from there i headed west. completely.
i couldn't keep in control of myself
i must've fallen over at least twice
some young kids were in his house who found out that my mum taught/teaches them
so yet again, i started chatting shit about everything and my mother.
i really wanted to sober up so much, it was embaressing
i drank loads of water and it really didn't seem to do anything to help my state.
i started smoking like a chimmney
i found out that nick hulme was supposed to be coming down later, so obviously that was an indication to chat about him to everyone. haha. including his best mate, phat pat, i know he's heard it all before but fuck's sake.
anyway, rachael was leaving and offered to take me home, i wasn't in a state of getting in a taxi.
we walked out of the front door and who was entering the house? nick!
drunk, seeing nick, is not the best combination. it always seems to be the case ever since i met him though. and then i always apologise after. anyways, i gave him a hug and walked off.
i felt really sick by this point, but couldn't actually do it
i stuck my fingers down my throat and started to vomit.
this guy shouted from his house not to be sick outside of it, haha, what a fucker. like i could actually move. i wanted, and half shouted that the sick would go and that it doesn't last forever but it came out like a slur and half spoken.
anyway, i got in the car and we headed to my house. i started to cry.
rachael came into my house with me and we sat down in my kitchen and had a big talk.
it was really nice.
i was still fairly drunk but it seemed to be going in.
hmm. i hate the fact i drink and smoke so much
tomorrow, not today as my hangover is immense, will be a new start for me.
because, i am sick of making a tit of myself.
hmmm.

easter sunday

2006-04-16T16:04:00.000+01:00

i've done fuck all today
my dad woke me up at about 10 to give me an easter egg, i ate a bit, felt sick, then went back to sleep.
i got up at watched tv, and 'bewitched' the film. my only attempt at doing something is bringing in a grey bag to throw shit out.
my mum rung from america earlier, it really annoyed me because she seemed more eager to speak to my sister and my dad than me. i cried.
me and ste ended stuff the other day. well, it was more him than me, again, but it was mutual.
he was still being a dickhead too!
wtf.
he wrote two sets of 'lyrics', blatantly about me. meh.

A rebel without a cause

Is to rebel without a clue

Portraits and images

That remind me of you

If its true that the offers were

Intended to bring me close to her

Than I would pick up the phone

Almost every single day

In a way its clear now

Just what is left to do?

But the list keeps on growing

I dont think Ill see it through in a sense i've lost my way

And this itching on my arm

Seems to restore some lost calm

It cant do any harm once more

To just try again

I believe I am an asset

To anyone who asks

I cant help but assist

And the point just might be missed

Growing tired of this turmoil

The light has burnt out the oil

Spoiling all the nice surprises

That I painstakingly planned

But on the other hand

Todays a brand new day

Wrote with the sweat on my palm

Just what I intend to say

But god damn it man

I just cant have it

Lift me out of this world

I want to see a new planet

As the granite in my bathroom floor

Slowly erodes away

And the cold draft in here

Means my girlfriend will not stay

Gone away once more

To clean the residue of my floor

Yeah the task it a bore

But its got to be done

I try to run away from problems

But my lungs give in

And the girl in the corner shop

Commented that Im looking thin

I can just laugh and grin

At the colour of my skin

They told my next of kin

That I have found a tone of grey

As I hound every person

That comes walking down the street

Asking lots of questions

About whom they would like to meet

And i'm greeted in a way

That could only happen here

People always seem happy

At this time of year

Wipe the tear from your eye

Because im really ok

I want to be loved

Forget that I am anyway

Accelerate away

And contemplate the way to steer

As im sure that it pulls

Just a little to the left

Tiredness crept into my head

Then spare a thought for the dead

As I am sure that lots of people

Would be glad to come along

But instead I kill my time

Sat in the corner of my room

Thinking about the smoke

That I daily consume

And the boom that you heard

Is easily misunderstood

Mistaken for a gunshot

Really its just pounding mud

And rarely do we see

Like minded people like we

I know they exist

Im barking up the wrong tree

The marking on my wall

Is a symbol of things I lost?

I wear it round my neck

Like the burden of a cross

And the moss in the forest

Will always mean a lot to me

Skipping stones in the morning

And paddling in the stream

And I mean it when I say that

I am lonely here

Got lost of friends around

But I misplaced their care

And a word in my ear

Never did too much good

Just leave me in the country side

To explore all the woods

To explode then implode

Like the throat of a toad

Is just how it was meant to be?

Or so I am told

But to try and explain being

Using an amphibian

As a metaphor for life

SigNing a tree with a knife

I think I have now learnt

Not to listen anymore

I almost won the battle

But I defenatly lost the war

And I swore to some god,

The truth would never be told

Trying to keep it a secret,

Until the day Im grey and old

But even then, im told

Id be hunted down

Its a special club you joined

Please dont take a look around

And Im punching the ground

The place where souls can be found

If I knock any harder then

Im sure I can reach soft lead

in a sense i've lost my way
----------------------------------------------------

Typing a typography

Trying to make you proud of me

And the apple fell off

the wrong side of the tree

Cooking up excuses

To find a thousand uses

For the space in the garden

where that tree used to be

And it useless to produce this

Sad melancholy

Thinking that you would choose this guy

Instead of choosing me

But three is a crowd

when its kind of underground

Working on my technique

And refining my own sound

The loud noises seem to start to

play with my ears

Distorting my vision

Making demons disappear

Then I guess its clear now

Just what is left to find

Looking for a correlation

While i'm loosing my mind

And its this kind of day

which makes me wish for more

Picking up mouldy chips

off the kitchen floor

Because there comes a time

Where it succumbs to what?

Beating up my own self

Alone in a parking lot

And the slot in the cash machine

Where my card is meant to go

Burns a hole in the socket

bigger than the hole in my pocket

In a wholistic view

I should really see it through

But now at least there is a hole

in which the sun can shine through

As a window on the world

Just like a gap in my life

Laughing at all the torment

and enjoying the strife

And I am kinder than most,

in more than a few ways

Cast back your mind

and then think of better days

As chilling in a bar

is some good for a while

Then return to home alone

And then starve myself to show

I can do it on my own

but I would appritiate some help

The last thing I want is

to deteriate my health

As the wealth of knowlage

only extends to some

And I never get a phone call

from my own sweet mum

But to some this is an advantage

to living away from home

And im giving up the hobbies I had

since I was 8 years old

To hold you tighter than this

is like a dagger in my side

It might as well be some stigmata

For the pain just wont subside

As fore play is exclusive

to white wedding brides

Because in the Middle East I would

have a thousand wives

And its this type of situation

that I contemplate a lot

And I am back where I began

Sat in a parking lot

The white lines seem to remind me

of times gone by

I think im still a man

but I now choose to cry

Its a media creation

that masculity is soft

Ive never been in a fight but

ive got a habit of getting lost

Crossing things of a list

that doesnt exist

So I can never remember issues

that I might as well miss

Kissing the ground where

my footsteps Always seem to land

but now The situation with this girl

Is getting really of hand

But im glad for the experience

Ignoring that its tedious

Its another 4 excuses

to just walk away

Instead I write back,

making it look as though its her

Never appritiating the realtiy

that we are both getting hurt

The dirt thrown in my face

Could be seen as a disgrace

For the amount of pain it caused

it could have been a can of mace

As the cumbersome tasks

take longer than I remember

I cant speak them kind of words,

so I write it in a letter

But my hand writings jaded,

Somewhat because of the cold

Sat here for so long with

my head in a plaster mould

When im older than this, shit,

im sure ill look back

Talking about back in the day,

blazing a 20 chronic sack

But here I go again as

it always comes back to weed

The amount of money I have

there should be other things that I need

But fuck the priority of what to eat for tea

I can worry about these issues

when im older than 33,

but now in this time im only 21 years of age

Time to start with another rap

And it is time to turn the page

..

he can't spell, bless him.

2006-04-01T14:32:00.000+01:00

So, Saturday.
I'm feeling a little less bitter i s'pose.
I didn't go into college on Wednesday because I felt a little shit.
Ste hadn't made any contact with me, then he sent me a message on myspace asking if i'd spoken to his friend, assuming I'd said horrible stuff to her, when in fact I hadn't done anything of the kind. And then, we had a small conversation, but I came to a better understanding.
Basically, he didn't want to hurt me, he said that he could see himself doing it. He said he wasn't content [ :| ] and that he didn't appreciate me as much as he should/could. He said he'd seen too many people have long term realtionships in their teens and get upset about it. What annoyed me was that he's only 21, it's not like he's a lot older than me. Some of what he said was a bit mean really, I don't think he intended it to come out like that, but it kind of made everything clearer and now I'm able to move on.
But I do miss him still...
Hopefully I'll become good friends with him or something.
I'm so tired. I fell asleep at about 10:30 yesterday, literally nearly falling asleep at the computer. I think I've had more than 12 hours sleep too so that's not too great.
Debating whether to go out tonight or not, who knows.
dan <3

2006-03-28T15:51:00.000+01:00

so i always write in here when i feel pretty shitty, but so what, get yo' feelings out and shit.
first and foremost, men are willies. what's the point of being an actual dick.
ste being like numero one in the grand scale. 'i didn't want to hurt you'
oh fuck you.
i hate people who either string you along, use you or fuckin' send you mixed messages and that's exactly what's happened. and the worst of it, i want him back of course. he was right though, he did treat me like shit, smoked weed everyday and was quite selfish. i didn't mind though, how stupid is that? he told me i deserved someone better, well, yeah i do but why the fuck can't he get a grip and be that person man.
he ticked most of my boxes for christ's sakes. not many people can do that because i'm so fuckin' shallow.
the fact he's said all this shit about 'doubts' even after he has this time, the fact he thought things in the first place is still gonna be there. so if he did want me back, what would be the point.
it's all a load of bollocks. his shit excuses. everything.
and why me? it's still, even now, a vicious circle in everything, and just when i thought that some things were going right it gets ruined.
i actually miss him & it's lame.
he said he misses me. he shouldn't have fuckin' done anything then! but then i guess he can get shit off someone else which is what i'm sure he'll find. although, someone who puts up with his laziness, spend-all-money-on-weed-so-no-food habit, the fact he has some fit ex-girlfriend picture on his wall, above his bed, and his small penis. meh.
i asked for my shit back, he almost didn't give me back my a tribe called quest cd and i was like err..
i told him i'd post his dead kennedy's album to him, [although he said he wanted to see me] fuck that, i might even just keep the fuckin' cd.
these feelings of rejection and anger are making me feel sick.
the end.

2006-03-16T20:32:00.000Z

Not written in a while.
I did really crap in my module exams. I failed one so I'm re-sitting 3 of them.
I have to try this time round, otherwise I'll feel really bad for wasting my parents' money.
I'm really gutted today, I wanted to go out to see Skinnyman and Scratch Perverts, I got really excited because I found a way of getting money and then my friend bailed. It really was proper gutting. It's like, everytime I want to go and see Skinnyman something comes up to stop me, like at Glastonbury with the mother of all fuckin' rain, chucking itself down which meant a stage/tent was unsafe or whatever, the point being I didn't see him.
St Paddy's tomorrow. Hopefully gonna get a bit wasted and get my [bad] groove on.
So yeah.
pieces x

2006-02-21T15:10:00.000Z

yah not been on the computah much this week, i have been at ste's house.
i went to work on saturday, dropped a few plates on the floor it was really bad haha. man i hate pizza hut.
i met most of ste's housemates yesterday, they seem nice, i don't know if i made a nice impression or not. hmm
i realised when smoking a lot of weed i get mega paranoid and i really don't like it. meh.
missing in manchester tomorrow. quite exciting. forgot all about it though. need to pick up some shiiit. hmm.
yeah.
oooh. i watched this film called waking life, it's really really good. it's animated and looks a bit liek flash but in some bits it looks like they've filmed it and then animated over, the word sync and shit is perfect. anyways, it's a good film about like whether you're awake or dreaming or whatever. i think i'd like to appreciate it sober though.
peaces.

2006-02-16T19:40:00.000Z

well. everyone seems to give up on me after a while. i'm sick of it.

meh x1000

2006-02-15T21:00:00.000Z

I don't like today, or yesterday for that matter either.
valentine's day is wank. i did nothing, for the second year running.
i didn't even go to college, i just felt really crap. i felt crap this morning too. i felt like how i used to feel. that was pretty lame.
i wanted to have a free house next week while my folks go to see my family in coventry. i kinda wanted to work more shifts next week, what with it being half term and i could work during the day. my mum's making me feel guilty saying shit like, 'lets hope something doesn't happen to your grandma' and all this shite.
anyway, i wanted a mini shin-dig y'knows. nothing too big, i don't think my house or street could cope. so i mentioned the idea to rachael. she said i should ask the girls and byofriends. and i was just like, what the fuck no. i couldn't think of anything worse. i mean, don't get me wrong, i like them all but jesus. no way. i want people like sean and noel there. and y'know, people who aren't gonna be fuckin' eating someone's face.
man, i'm livid. and feeling completely sorry for myself. again. fuck's sake.

sainsbury's chicken korma

2006-02-11T14:50:00.000Z

ahh last night was well good. we got to chorlton and spent about 10 minutes waiting outside elis' flat coz he hadn't heard the buzzer. anyways, it was reet good.
it was my best friend's birthday, joint with aislinn who decided to get in on things. it was cute, their families were there and yeah.
quite a good turn out i think. people i'd not seen for ages.
nick hulme djing. ohmygod.
i hope i didn't look like too much of a mong before i got drunk. i really shouldn't be allowed to talk. i hope i didn't make a tit out of myself. i think i broadcasted everything.
at the end we went back to elis'. it was proper random. me and martin went to get some cigs and drink from a petrol station which was fuckin' missions away including me nearly falling off a wall. haha
this lorry had like plants on it so i asked this guy how much they were and it turned out he was from holland so i told him i had people living in rotterdam where the tomatoes are grown and asked him if he had any tomatoes he could sell me and then he just gave me a bunch of roses, haha. score!
then, we walked passed somerfield which had shit still out, so me and martine robbed some more flowers and i got this stick thingys. i'm realising now that they might have had security cameras etc. but oh well.
awh man, not had some weed since new year. it was reet good. we watched some programme about cave people, it was the most randomest thing ever. but great, i wish i knew what it was.
we fell asleep at about 5:30. i was on the sofa but sorta fell out and this morning was all bunched up inbetween massive cushions and a table and shit. soo uncomfortable.
i realise i have heardly any money... and i've got to go to the sodding trafford centre tonight. how lame.
anyways, i need the lavatory.

wedneshitday

2006-02-08T15:33:00.000Z

today's been really lame. i woke up late and went into college for 11:15 but was late. i only live like round the corner so i don't know how that one worked out. and then the next lesson was cancelled, so really, i just came in for one lesson which was stupid as i did pretty much fuck all. then i decided to go to orchestra, but that was shit too. and now i feel exhausted. and crap.

bleugh.

on the up though, i've bought rachael's birthday present - a nice brown and pink o'neill bikini.
got my missing in manchester ticket and bought a less than jake ticket off nick. i can't afford any of this really but oh well.

the sun today was nice but it was far too bright, it kind of spoilt things.

i'm gonna go downstairs and watch tv and make a cup of tea or something.
i need someone to cuddle. badly.

2006-02-05T18:09:00.000Z

this weekend's been a bit shit really.
i was at work yesterday but i was so tired and had a sore head. i only worked 3 hours because lee said i could go home coz it wasn't that busy. it felt like forever and i'm only getting paid like £15. stupid.
went out on friday. me and jane went to the footage, had a couple of drinks and waited for sean and chris to come down. lol, sean is great. we were talking about festivals too. there's one in ireland they're going to but i dunno if i'll be going because i might be on holiday with the girls.
meh that's if i have any money from the lame shifts i keep getting.
i guess i shouldn't go out but vodka redd bul for a quid in 5th ave is tempting.
i've gotta ring work soon for my shifts, i'm scared though. i always am. but more so this time round coz i know i'll probably not be able to make it. it's rachael's birthday next weekend y'see. so her birthday party. AND katie o'brien's 20th. how can i book friday and saturday off, they're well gonna hate me.
i wonder if 6 is the rush hour bit too. fuckery.
this really shouldn't be a big deal but it is.
nevermind.

festival madness

2006-02-05T18:01:00.000Z

I'm getting festival blues again.
They're so bloody go though.

portable raayve haentrance to the arenathe mother of all tents & teh girls.

riotnofx crowd.

02/02/2006

2006-02-02T22:33:00.000Z

today i had a lie in and it was most kind. could have done with a few more winks but y'know.
i can't remember much after that apart from going to levenshulme trying to find a shop. seriously, we drove like up and down this road like 3 times and then found it. i say 'we' i meant aislinn. i shouldn't request shotgun in her car, the fuckin' glove compartment's broken and it proves to be well annoying. still, her car is teh best. my favourite car. VW golf. then i asked if we could go to a park so i could get a soil sample. my hands were so, so cold. the lengths i go to for investigations. y'know, aislinn asked a quid off me for petrol money, ha. what a loser. meh.
anyway, just been back to college for a play. it was alright. a bit boring and my back is mega sore. i actually love rachael. she had a shit part but hmm. i miss her. i've not really spent much time with her recently, but yeah, at least i'm showing i'm interested.
man i'm well tired.
2nd post. a bit shit. BECAUSE i have nothing interesting to say. the end.

01/02/2006

2006-02-01T16:16:00.000Z

So then, a new month and a new blog.
I don't really know what to write in these things but I felt like I wanted one. I'll probably use it for ramblings and such.
Yeah.